Category: Life

THE JOY OF DEALING WITH PROBLEMS

This from Matthew Ferrara, in a post titled ‘The Joy of Problems.’

“I’m so glad we had lunch,” I said as we left the restaurant.

“I’m so glad you didn’t cancel,” she replied.

“Actually,” I said, “It was invigorating to talk to someone who doesn’t need to be talked off the ledge. It’s refreshing to see you excited about solving problems.”

“You’re right. I feel energized by these challenges; I’ve solved similar ones at other companies. I know I have the skills and experience to deal with them. I’m looking forward to figuring them out in my new role,” she said.

“The joy of dealing with problems,” I smiled.

My latest offering is Email Guidance. Basically you get one email to pick my brain, and if you like my reply, there’s a Stripe payment link and you can book me for 10 more days five more emails of back and forth. I’ve booked five clients so far since I started it last month.

If you’re a paid subscriber to Social Media Escape Club, you get two free emails like this. Someone recently upgraded and did just that, sending me their challenge and a link to their website.

I replied with a 1,000 word email, and they sent back this:

“BOOM! Super helpful feedback … and so generous. Do you really take the time personally to do this depth of research into us/our brand and personalize an email like this? That’s unheard of … I’m super grateful.”

Some people have recently asked me if doing this is “scalable.” As in, I should just do a Zoom call, and be done with it, or something similar.

Or maybe just write 200 words.

But the thing is, and I’m grateful for Matthew’s post for pointing this out, is I think I find it… I found the joy of dealing with problems. I… sort of love it.

I read someone’s email, look over their site a little bit, and whatever else they provide, and then… I go for a walk. I go about my day. I watch a movie. I sleep on it. I go for a run. Make some coffee.

A day later I sit down and bang out a 1,000 word email like it’s nothing, because for me… well, it comes easy for me. And it’s also less stress than hopping on a Zoom call with a total stranger, and having to come up with all the answers on the spot. And be at my computer at a certain time. Make sure the mic is working. All that.

But writing a 1,000 word email? I love doing it.

And there are guardrails. I make sure people know I’ll reply in 24 hours, usually. I’m not swapping emails with you into the night. And I don’t answer emails on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. There’s a lot of space built into this.

And honestly, if I’m giving you 1,000 words to read, it’s gonna take you a minute to digest it.

So yeah – the joy of solving problems. I love it. If you want to know more, check out my Email Guidance page and go ahead, pick my brain.

GROWING WITH GROUPS

Talking about leaving social media lately has become less about the logistics and technology and more about the people. Just… PEOPLE.

Like, knowing every single answer to everyone’s situation of moving away from social media is impossible, but talking about the process. Figuring out what feels right. Talking about the flow and rhythm, the natural vibes of how you want to operate.

Less about tactics and more about the conversations we can have to figure these things out.

I did a workshop about ABOUT PAGES recently, and did it without trying to be the authority, or the instructor, the EXPERT. No PowerPoint, just vibes.

But people learned and figured things out from the group dynamic. We’re all in this together, learning together, sharing our collective knowledge and experiences for the better of the group.

SIGNALS

In school I could find the rockers because they had mullets, Bon Jovi and Motley Crue shirts. We obviously couldn’t carry around our guitars, but there were signals.

Growing up, I didn’t sit in the hallways and randomly yell things as everyone walked past.

“BMX! Dungons and Dragons! Guns N’ Roses!”

That’d just get me some weird looks, right?

Instead, I did what all of us shy nerds did – I carried around my BMX Plus magazines. Finally found an Anthrax shirt. Got some Airwalks from the JCPenny catalog.

Each of those things were a signal.

Once we found our tribe, we didn’t stay hanging out in the hallways at school, or the food court at the mall. We spent our evenings in our friend’s bedrooms and basements, learning Misfits’s covers and such.

This whole “hopping to different platforms to find out people” is a new thing that came about in the last decade, and it looks like it’s burning to the ground.

Start talking to the few people around you, getting a little deeper. Send a few emails. Plan a Zoom call. Meet in real life.

Boost your signals together, with other people.

HEALING

Angel figurine photo by Seth Werkheiser

A rich person wants many things. A sick person wants one thing. And wow, that’s been me this week – a sick person. It was too bad, but it was enough to wreck my normal routine, especially running. I had just done back to back 30 mile weeks, but I know fitness doesn’t disappear in a few days, especially since I’m not training for the Olympics or anything like that.

We are humans, not robots. Progress isn’t linear.

FRAIL CONNECTIONS

Our connections are only as strong as the technology in place that allows it. This is why I warn against using Facebook to stay in touch with friends and family – if that connection is cut, you account is suspended, the company implodes – you are no longer connected with friends and family.

All this talk now of new social media networks, as if the only way forward is based on the idea of setting up new accounts and importing our address books, when in fact we already have our address book from which we can communicate with friends and family.

Seems we like to stay in touch from afar, though, which is weird to me. I don’t need to know the breakfast choices of the kid who sat behind me in 10th grade science class. I don’t need to know every career move of people 1,000 miles away who can only be troubled to drop a “happy birthday!” text when prompted by a algorithm to encourage engagement.

Our brains are only capable of so many connections. There are a few people in our life, right now, nearly in arms reach, who we could grow closer to and go deeper with. Instead we keep seeking these lite-connections with people who only think of us when an algorithm deems it so.

SEEKING LESS NOTIFICATIONS

See, the thing is I like Substack Notes. I really like the people and the connections that can be built there. But as I near 5000 subscribers (!!!), the mental load required to keep up on Notes has begun to tip.

I really enjoy answering people’s questions that are posed to me in the comments, sometimes even with video. But that’s not the load. I relish that!

It’s the “17 people liked this post,” or people re-stacking things, and being notified as such. Sure, knowing 57 shared a recent post is nice and all, but I don’t need to know that in real time.

And if it’s at this level with 5,000 subscribers, what it like at 10,000?

This is why comments are turned off on this blog. I am still reachable, but there’s friction.

A wonderful human reached out to me a week or so ago, asking if I was okay in regards to a sort of somber Christmas time post I made. That was wonderful. I welcome that.

Will someday I get too many personal emails? Maybe. But that’s a problem I haven’t had in quite some time.

Most of the “too many emails” came from when I was an editor of a music blog, with very many one-sided asks from various industry people, and multiple internal emails from the mega corp I was working for.

But I like emails with people, talking about these anti-social media things. I like my weekly Zoom calls with people talking about these anti-social media things.

I guess it’s a matter of energy.

Checking the notifications of LIKES and RESTACKS on Substack benefits the people who make Substack while zapping my energy and enthusiasm.

If you’d like, send me an email. It’s easy to find.

CHRISTMAS

The holidays ring different when you’re nearing your 50s, your parents are gone, and you’re single. To date I’ve had 48 Christmas mornings, as a child, a teenager, with a wife and girlfriends at various points in life. What an adventure, huh?

But that’s life. I probably don’t have 48 more Christmas mornings in me, but maybe 20 or so? That looks weird when I write it out, but that’s the reality. I guess 20 would be great, but shit happens. Maybe it’s only 10. Maybe this was my last Christmas. No one knows such things, I guess.

But today was a day, a cold Wednesday, overcast and grey. Tomorrow is a new day, but that’s about all I know at this point.