Writer, musician, wizardly guide to platform independence
From a recent trip down to West Virgina, this on the Baltimore National Pike. Views for miles, a fun place to get off the highway and stretch your legs.
I haven’t driven more than 2 or 3 hours in awhile, but this was a full, eight hour day from early morning to late afternoon.
Of course, after all that driving, you wind up at a place like Burger Carte, which served up burgers so good, we went there two nights in a row.
“I don’t understand why Biden is not on TV every single night talking about this – it’s terrorism. It’s decades of killing social and civic fabrics. It’s fixable,” from another of Melody’s Tweets.
I know what the President said 13 seconds after he posted it, along with the 100 replies to that the statement, and the 14 articles that will be written about soon after. I know that the President read something.
But I don’t know if my neighbor had a good holiday.
I know so many random bits of NBA trade gossip, but can’t tell you the hours of the three places to get coffee here.
I know what my friends had for lunch, several time zones away, but I never checked to see if there’s a soup kitchen or community pantry in my town.
I feel like I know so much about such little things, and the big things right in front of me are invisible.
Not as many miles as I wanted this week, but it’s been brutally hot out, so the few miles I’m getting feel like more bang for the buck. Running in the heat is double duty on the heart; one for the run, two for the internal cooling.
There was a half mile stretch the other night where things came together. Warmed up, legs felt great, sun beating down, and settled in at my 10:30-ish per mile pace, which I am not usually doing. I’m puttering along most of the time, really, as I don’t want to press, and wipe myself out after every run – life is hard enough already!
But yeah, that little half mile section felt good. Settled in, accepted the discomfort, eyes on the prize, chest up, and yeah, got it done.
Today’s run at the nature preserve didn’t have the same vibe, but it was a lot more climbing, which felt good. I didn’t run much of it, but I got the heart rate up, saw some buffalo, and got home without destroying myself. Felt good to have all that under control.
I’m working out of a nearby co-working spot again, which is close enough for me to walk home for lunch. This tiny side street always amazes me, with the shade, the trees, the church; it’s a great space, though this photo doesn’t really capture that.
Nights are quiet in a college town when school is out, so I’ve taken to doing some night riding with my fixed gear. Very slow and deliberate, listening for crickets and speeding trucks.
I keep thinking to upload photos like this to Instagram. They’d get a few likes and comments, remind people I’m alive. But I am burnt to a crisp on social media.
I liken it to the food court at the mall. As teens, that was the place to be. It’d be weird if all our parents were there, too. That’s social media. Oh, and the mall cops won’t let you see some of your friends, too. That’s the algorithms.
My website is the tiny store front on a side street with no foot traffic. If you want to see what I’ve got in my shop, you’ll have to open a web browser, as I’m nearly done placing ads at the food court for you to come check out my stuff.
Does this mean less traffic? Maybe people will forget about me? Sure.
But I email friends, and text with pals, and get on the phone and Facetime, too. I’m not lacking, and for that I’m grateful.
Investing my time and energy at the food court is over.
I removed Twitter and Instagram from my phone, as both were sucking up way too much time. Way too easy to just lose 10 or 20 minutes at a time and come away with nothing of any value.
Of course my brain somehow found Google News, or Apple News, which is just throwing more blunt force trauma into my eyeballs on the regular. No thanks.
Then I remembered, wow, there were design sites I used to frequent which always linked to the coolest stuff.
So in hit up Swiss Miss and found earth.fm, which is amazing nature sounds from all over the world.
Then I found this amazing video, too. A soothing, gorgeous video. Absolultey inspring.
So scrolling through Swiss Miss didn’t flood me with all these things. They were spaced out over several days, not just video after video, pummeling my senses and stealing my attention.
Worth checking out: https://www.swiss-miss.com/
I posted one of those “I’m too tired from work to do my hobbies so when I get back to work I’m mad I didn’t do my hobbies” memes on Instagram, and meant it mostly for the music / creative side of things.
Which made me realize that biking and running have stopped being a “hobby,” and turned into who I am. I’ve been biking for 30+ years. This July I’ll have been running for six years.
I have so many running clothes, and bike tools, and fuck, I have three bikes again. A Zwift subscription. A gym membership. An Apple Watch. A Garmin for longer runs.
So those hobbies haven’t fallen off. And since January they’ve actually ramped up, as evidenced by my falling resting heart rate (hooray).
But getting in a five hour run takes more than the hour or so it takes me to run it. There’s stretching, cool down, fueling afterwards, getting to bed early to aid with recovery.
So with that, yeah, there’s not much time after a full day of work and an hour long run or bike ride for other stuff.
And right now that’s plenty okay.
I don’t know how I had the energy to make daily loops in early 2021, or weekly Goodnight, Metal Friend mixes, or live audio streams a few nights a week.
It takes all the energy I can muster to get out for a run or a bike ride most evenings. Creating or making things is absolultey the hardest thing right now. Fuck, even trying to keep writing blog posts is hard, like this one.
But right now those runs and bike rides are enough. I’m not “creating content” like I used to, for other people to enjoy. I’m getting my butt outside, and off the computer, and just staying in the present moment enough to get the blood flowing.
Everything is hard right now, so I’m just trying my best to keep a bit of softness in my life, and not try to beat myself up for not being the most creative, or productive person right now.
I said this last month:
But honestly – I turn 46 next month. Luck runs out someday, right? So in the meantime, fuck it. I’m going to spend the money on shit that makes me smile, shit I use, and shit I want, because someday the oceans will boil and shit. Today is it.
And well, I said fuck it again, and bought a mountain bike.
To be 46 and own three bikes again, well, whatever. Life is short. I’ve seen too much death in recent years. COVID has shown us all how fragile everything is. Modern society in here in America has shown us how “on our own” we truly are, so fuck it… if I want to ride on the road, or some easy rails-to-trails, I got my gravel bike.
And now, if I discover miles of single track, I have a bike that can handle it. Fuck it.
I don’t want to be on my death bed and think, “shit, I shoulda just got that bike,” or “I shoulda just went to that trail but never did.”
Had two great talks this past week with two folks doing creative, vibrant work.
This after Tweeting less, posting less, and sending out one of my HEAVY METAL EMAIL newsletters after a month or two hiatus.
So often I think my words just disappear into the void, that I’m a horrible writer, that I should “write better copy” to get more work, and all the other shit you read from people who achieved success and think their method is the right method.
This is a weird spot to be in – not publicly posting things, sharing the work, whatever. But in these trying times, it’s all I can muster.