Founder of the Social Media Escape Club
Angel figurine photo by Seth Werkheiser
A rich person wants many things. A sick person wants one thing. And wow, that’s been me this week – a sick person. It was too bad, but it was enough to wreck my normal routine, especially running. I had just done back to back 30 mile weeks, but I know fitness doesn’t disappear in a few days, especially since I’m not training for the Olympics or anything like that.
We are humans, not robots. Progress isn’t linear.
Hitting closer to home, one day at a time.
Our connections are only as strong as the technology in place that allows it. This is why I warn against using Facebook to stay in touch with friends and family – if that connection is cut, you account is suspended, the company implodes – you are no longer connected with friends and family.
All this talk now of new social media networks, as if the only way forward is based on the idea of setting up new accounts and importing our address books, when in fact we already have our address book from which we can communicate with friends and family.
Seems we like to stay in touch from afar, though, which is weird to me. I don’t need to know the breakfast choices of the kid who sat behind me in 10th grade science class. I don’t need to know every career move of people 1,000 miles away who can only be troubled to drop a “happy birthday!” text when prompted by a algorithm to encourage engagement.
Our brains are only capable of so many connections. There are a few people in our life, right now, nearly in arms reach, who we could grow closer to and go deeper with. Instead we keep seeking these lite-connections with people who only think of us when an algorithm deems it so.
When things don’t work out, best to just take it as a lesson and keep moving forward.
Easier said than done, of course, but life is short.
See, the thing is I like Substack Notes. I really like the people and the connections that can be built there. But as I near 5000 subscribers (!!!), the mental load required to keep up on Notes has begun to tip.
I really enjoy answering people’s questions that are posed to me in the comments, sometimes even with video. But that’s not the load. I relish that!
It’s the “17 people liked this post,” or people re-stacking things, and being notified as such. Sure, knowing 57 shared a recent post is nice and all, but I don’t need to know that in real time.
And if it’s at this level with 5,000 subscribers, what it like at 10,000?
This is why comments are turned off on this blog. I am still reachable, but there’s friction.
A wonderful human reached out to me a week or so ago, asking if I was okay in regards to a sort of somber Christmas time post I made. That was wonderful. I welcome that.
Will someday I get too many personal emails? Maybe. But that’s a problem I haven’t had in quite some time.
Most of the “too many emails” came from when I was an editor of a music blog, with very many one-sided asks from various industry people, and multiple internal emails from the mega corp I was working for.
But I like emails with people, talking about these anti-social media things. I like my weekly Zoom calls with people talking about these anti-social media things.
I guess it’s a matter of energy.
Checking the notifications of LIKES and RESTACKS on Substack benefits the people who make Substack while zapping my energy and enthusiasm.
If you’d like, send me an email. It’s easy to find.
The holidays ring different when you’re nearing your 50s, your parents are gone, and you’re single. To date I’ve had 48 Christmas mornings, as a child, a teenager, with a wife and girlfriends at various points in life. What an adventure, huh?
But that’s life. I probably don’t have 48 more Christmas mornings in me, but maybe 20 or so? That looks weird when I write it out, but that’s the reality. I guess 20 would be great, but shit happens. Maybe it’s only 10. Maybe this was my last Christmas. No one knows such things, I guess.
But today was a day, a cold Wednesday, overcast and grey. Tomorrow is a new day, but that’s about all I know at this point.
Lots of truth in this statement, not just in a big “PR SALES!” sense, but even in how we talk about what we do with friends, and other people in our creative orbit.
Many artists would love for the “art to speak for itself,” but that’s not the world we live in anymore. There is simply too much art, music, news, drama – EVERYTHING – for things to speak for themselves.
Everything has its volume cranked to 11, and it never ends, and there’s more being added every minute, every hour, every day.
We get better at talking about the work by talking about it, not by trying to scream just as loud as everyone else.
Posting on social media can be like screaming, since we all have to scream to get attention on those platforms. We have to dance, or use the right trending audio, or hashtags.
Talking, though, is a lost art. How many people do you know that don’t even like talking on the phone with friends? Let alone creative directors, or booking people, or potential clients?
Talking is a lost fucking art, but it’s exactly what we need to get back to.
Instead of posting something on social media tonight, email an old acquaintance. Text someone a photo or link. Tell them about a book you’re reading. Send an email to someone you admire. Ask someone how they’re doing. Write a letter. Call your bestie.
In getting away from the algorithms and the walled garden of social media DMs, we return to a wide open world of possibilities.
A client who has worked with some big names wanted to build their email list, and I gave them this idea:
Think of the amazing people you worked with throughout the years, and think of all those stories you shared, and the memories you’ve made. They’ve got to have dozens of those stories to write, right?
So write that post, with that one person in mind. Then email that person a link to the piece.
This gets you around sending a boring email to “all your contacts” saying, “hey, I have a newsletter now, you should subscribe.”
Write a post that will resonate with the person you’re emailing. Yes, even if it’s just that one person. Email the person the link. Maybe they subscribe, or at least reply and you two catch up, and who knows where that leads?
It’s not always about striking it rich and getting 100 new sign ups. Sometimes the right message to the right person at the right time is all you need.
Love this bit from Derek Sivers:
Making money depends on other people, so it’s harder. It’s not entirely under your control. It’s an outer game.
Reducing what you “need” to be happy is easier. It’s entirely under your control. It’s an inner game.
Would I like to replace my car from 2015 with over 100,000 miles? Sure. But that means a car payment and higher insurance premiums.
I don’t need that new car, which helps me be a little more rich.
