Category: Life

Forward Steps

What happened last Wednesday will be in history books. People will talk about the insurrection 100 years from now. Yet another horrible stain in our nation’s history.

Then I thought of the images of the zip-tie guy. Antlers guy. The guy with his feet up on Nancy Pelosi’s desk. They’re going to be in history books, too. They’ll be in video montages in December, in those cheesy look-back clips.

Then I remembered NJ Rep. Andy Kim helping clean up from the aftermath.

“I’ve spent a lot of time in Afghanistan and Iraq, I’ve been in war zones where I’ve had to shelter in place, but I never would have imagined that this would happen here,” he said, noting that he didn’t know at the time whether the rioters were armed. “It was a terrifying experience.”

There is ample room for everyone’s reactions, hot takes, and snarky comebacks. I don’t mean to take that from anyone. But for many, it just aren’t hard-wired. The reaction is more about mobilization, helping, donating. Less hard. Soft. Just as important.

Even if you’re not introducing articles of impeachment, or delivering a monologue of zingers on late night TV, that does not mean you’re not part of the positive reaction to this event.

Some of the people who were arrested for this invasion will probably serve light sentences. They’ll lose their jobs. But then out will come the GoFundMe campaigns, and they’ll make a chunk of change.

On the other side, we’ll send money to our local food bank, mutual aid, hell… write a friend a postcard.

Every positive step forward, no matter the size, will get us where we’re going.

Photo Andrew Harnik / AP, via NBC News

What a Week

This week started with bean dad, and ended with an attempted coup. Thousands of COVID-19 deaths. Talk of impeachment.

They’ll be talking about these event 100 years from now. Well, probably not bean dad, but still.

For the week ahead we’ll all try and show up for work as if any of this is normal, dealing with the ambient dread however we can. Lots of coffee, mid-day walks, mid-day naps – whatever. Wild times call for wild coping strategies.

Help Daryl Murphy Build Free Libraries

Daryl Murphy has ran a 5K every day for over 265 days in honor, and silent protest to the murder of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Elijah McClain and way too many others who’ve been killed by police. Now he’s onto his third fundraiser, using his running for another great cause:

The goal of Miles For Justice III is to raise $10,000 to bring 10 Little Free Libraries filled with books that feature POC authors and POC characters into communities with limited book access. Each library will be placed in a highly visible location with ample foot traffic that’s easily accessible for all members of the community.

Right now he’s at about $1,000, so if you can contribute, do it. If you can’t just share the link: https://pledgeit.org/milesforjustice/

Your Website is Your Truth

A friend looking to possibly maybe starting down the path of a new gig. They’ve got this experience, but how do they really show it off?

“A website,” I exclaim!

“But how will people know it’s stuff I really did?

“Because your reputation precedes you. You’re a good person, you’re not a crook. If it’s on your website, it happened.”

Of course, that takes a few decades of building trust, establishing character. Day after day of trying to do the right thing, with the right people. But that’s the work.

Photo by Christina Morillo from Pexels

Back to Things Without a Break

Usually a Christmas holiday break means spending time with family, dinner with friends, ice skating, nice conversations in cute coffee shops… but not this year.

That’s what makes getting “back to work” that much more difficult. There was no unwinding, no reprieve. No break from the tragedy. No break from being vigilant. No break.

So we start January with a Slack outage, which is about as on-brand as you can get for the state of the world we’re living in now.

Forming Good Habits in the New Year

Sticking to a new habit, especially one like running which isn’t exactly know for being enjoyable, is tough.

Think of other things you enjoy around running that you can work into your system. Treat yourself to a nice running cap, or maybe your favorite album in your earbuds. Make a playlist for Mondays, something you can look forward to. Schedule a reminder in your calendar.

In my latest Soft Run newsletter I talk about supporting your goals with systems, which I learned from Atomic Habits from James Clear.

“The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking. It’s not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress.”

My first reason to start running was because I had friends who were runners and I wanted to join them in their adventures. It’s the same reason why I started playing music – my peers in high school were learning to play music, and I wanted to be a part of that.

Eh, maybe that’s some peer pressure, but 30 years later I’m still making music. And this will be my fifth year running.

Now, I’ve always wanted to be someone who says they do 100 push-ups a day, but never had the motivation. It never stuck. I’ve stopped and started (I wrote about it here in 2018), but ultimately I guess I really don’t want do 100 push-ups a day.

Could I make it a habit? I suppose, but I just haven’t built a system to make it happen, and I’m just not in a big hurry to do it, either.

Photo by Olya Kobruseva from Pexels

Work Together on Cool Stuff When You Can

If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

The behind the scenes episodes for The Mandalorian just blew me away. The level of “I didn’t know if I could do this” energy was astounding, but it goes to show that people are capable of amazing things when you trust them, support them, and give them space to fly.

Remember, if you’re not “thriving” with all your work calls and video chats it’s not because those things are bad, it’s also because we’re operating during a once-in-a-lifetime event. People will be talking about this moment in time 100 years from now.

Go easy on yourself.

Put On Your Shows

Been feeling the feels a lot lately about the whole “working with people” thing. I blame the making-of videos on Disney+ about The Mandalorian. I’m talking the energy that comes from being in the same room, or on a call with someone you’ve worked with for years and you’re just plotting big stuff.

“I didn’t really know what I was doing in college, but I got so wrapped up in the comedy scene, because it looked so fun, and it was. I had that dream for myself. Perform with my friends, put on our shows. But we had to also feed ourselves, and pay rent, and have jobs, so we grew up.”

Sunita Mani

I love that line, “perform with my friends, put on our shows.”

Our shows.

I love the sort of child-like vibe of that, “our shows.” I mean, Sunita Mani makes it sound like they really did those shows, it wasn’t just some two-bit affair, but for people who don’t put on their own shows, or book their own tours, or start their own sites, well, I guess it’s on the other side of the spectrum. You’re either doing your shows or “growing up.”

Put on your shows.

Know When to Jump In

How can I run through a washed out road in 30°F weather and not die? Are my shoes water proof? How do I keep my feet from freezing?

First, run through a washed out road in the middle of summer. Discover first hand what it feels like. How’d it feel plunging in? How’d it feel on the other side of the road? Think back, charge ahead.

Second, know what comes next. On this day I knew I only had about two more miles to run. Cold is cold, sure. But I can cover two miles in about 20-ish minutes. I won’t die.

And lastly, fuck it. Jump in.

My favorite Seth Godin truth is “this might not work.”

Some social media strategy idea for my day job might not work. Some new system. A song idea I finally record. A video I make.

This might not work.

There’s a time for safety which, okay, is most of the time. But there’s a time to say fuck it and let it rip.

The magic is knowing when.

Learn Your Lessons Each Step of the Way

It was my junior year of high school. Though I grew up in a musical family, I didn’t pick up instrument until my freshman year because suddenly my friends were all learning how to play guitar and be in bands!

So I’m playing my first show ever in front of people. Actually it’s my first time playing, and singing. I never set out to sing, just play bass. But I was the singer now in our band.

This is 1993, so no internet really. Nothing else going on in town. It felt like everyone from my high school was there. Over 500 people, I think.

A few songs in, a buddy of mine yells to me in between songs. Tells me the vocals are too low, they need to get turned up.

So I say to the sound guy, over the microphone, “hey, can you turn up the vocals?”

He replied, over the PA system, in front of everyone, “try singing.”

To which I replied, “fuck you!”

We all laughed, and launched into our next song.

All I remember, after our set, was him coming up to me as I was packing up my bass, and saying something about shoving my heart down my throat or something for telling him off.

Lesson learned.

Looking back, I’m a third generation musician in my family. I’ve been on some recordings, played a bunch of shows. I never toured, or been part of a big release, but here I am now, some 30 years later, still messing around in music.

That’s the thing, though. Making music doesn’t have to be about reaching #1 on the charts, getting 10,000 viewers on some stream, a million subscribers on YouTube.

Create something that you like, and share it. For everyone person who says they enjoy it, there’s probably 20 that will never let you know.

That’s the trick; you can’t get 10 fans until you get one.
You can’t run 10 miles until you can run one.
You can’t put out a book if you can’t write a chapter.
You can’t release an album until you finish one song.

So don’t look too far into the distance. Make your mistakes now, get your bad stuff out of the way this year. Your work today is to keep piling up your art, your work, your magic.

Photo by Anthony from Pexels